Sublimation of energy means that energy with a lower vibrational frequency is transformed into a higher vibrational energy. Sexual energy can be transformed into love or intellectual energy for example. We can change different energies within us into other types of energies by channeling the energy from a chosen chakra to other chakras. While making love a great amount of energy is activated in the lower chakras, Muladhara and Svadisthana. After finishing lovemaking, energy has risen to the upper chakras. Thus, tantric lovemaking in energetic sense is not different from sublimating sexual energy to higher chakras. A similar process happens with burning fire. When we place firewood – material, hard and heavy, representing Muladhara energy – in fire, the weightless and invisible energy of light and warmth is released. Similarly, the sexual fluids of our bodies, sperm for men and menstrual blood for women, can be transformed into lighter energies – love, intuition, intelligence, spirituality and other non-material energies that are lighter and of higher vibrational frequency.
If sexual energy doesn’t transform into a more sublime and higher frequency energy during tantric intercourse, it is actually quite a tragedy. The more we make love the more we collect energy in the second chakra. If we make love for hours and don’t release sexual energy from the body, our Svadisthana chakra becomes very big. However, Svadisthana is the center of our emotions, so we may become very unbalanced emotionally. This also happens when practicing red tantra. In case of red tantra, lovemaking is done in a tantric way but without sublimating energy. They love to enjoy sex and experience powerful pleasures at Svadisthana chakra level, not wishing to reach higher meditative states.
Tantrics have discovered that intense pleasure and powerful orgasms will invoke the activation of sexual/life energy that can assist in the awakening of consciousness and reaching higher states of consciousness. Tantric sex means conscious control and withholding of sexual energy, avoiding explosive orgasms, while sublimating energy into the higher chakras. The energy, not lost through explosive orgasms, is channeled to higher chakras and used consciously for other purposes. Thus, sublimation is critical in the practice of tantra. If you are taught tantra without teaching sublimation, the teaching is incomplete. When experienced tantrics are making love for an hour, they may feel energy rising up to the area of chest and head and not being in the genital area any more.
In case of men it means that they need to learn to differentiate orgasm from ejaculation. Orgasm and ejaculation are not the same and men are able to experience orgasms without ejaculating. Orgasm is an ecstatic state. Usually we can experience this state of ecstasy and bliss for a few seconds only, because sexual energy exits the body and we are not able to stay longer in this state. Tantric practices teach us how to stay in this state of ecstasy for much longer. It may last 10, 20, 30 minutes and this experience is much deeper and gives us a glimpse of the actual spiritual nature of sexuality. Men don’t need to ejaculate in order to experience the state of orgasm. The simultaneous activation of orgasm and ejaculation is a reflex learned by our body and mind. In reality, different parts of brain are activated with orgasm and ejaculation and these can be differentiated and experienced separately. Tantra and modern medicine say that they don’t need to happen together. Men can experience orgasms without ejaculation and also ejaculate without having an orgasm. We are used to experiencing these together and we have trained our body to work this way. That’s why some Indian and Tibetan gurus only take young boys as disciples because they haven’t yet created these simultaneous reflexes in their bodies and they are easier to teach to experience orgasms the way they wish. If you are used to having these together, you too have created such a program in your body. This program needs to be changed, to learn to experience orgasm again, separately from ejaculation, and to affix new programs in the body. It requires about 5 times more time and energy than for those who start practicing tantra while still a virgin – men who haven’t yet ejaculated and women who haven’t experienced clitoral orgasms.
In case of men the differentiating is easier – they either have ejaculated or not. In case of women it’s a bit more complicated as many women don’t know themselves if they had an orgasm or not. Some women have rhythmic vaginal contractions while having an orgasm, some don’t, and it can be accompanied by ample excretion of fluids from the Yoni. For women the clearest indicator of whether sexual energy has been released from body or not, is how they feel after orgasming. If a woman has had a very intensive orgasm and after that the first reaction is “leave me alone, don’t touch me”, then sexual energy has been released from body. If a woman needs a pause for recovering after orgasm, she has ejaculated in the energetic sense, she has lost the activated sexual/life energy. If after having an orgasm a woman wishes to continue immediately and get more orgasms, then she has been making love in a tantric way and energy has been accumulating in the body.
The purpose of tantric sex and lovemaking is to open the ability of experiencing multiple orgasms both in men and women. To activate large amounts of sexual energy this way and to sublimate is consciously into the higher energy centers. Of course, for women it is much easier to experience multiple orgasms than for men. Some women can learn it after a couple of tantric intercourses or sessions of tantric massage but for some men it can take months or even years.
This doesn’t mean that practicing tantra is easier for women than for men. Nevertheless, for them it’s easier to get started and get initial positive experiences faster. If we take the opening of multi-orgasmic ability as the first round, then it is full of pleasure and joy for women but often frustrating and joyless, dull activity for men. About 5% of women find it very difficult to experience orgasms without the energetic ejaculation and release of energy from the body. They say they tried to hold themselves back but explosive orgasm still happened. It is especially true if the woman is used to getting only clitoral orgasms.
Most women enjoy starting their tantric practice. Sex becomes much more enjoyable for them. They shine, become more feminine, experience multiple orgasms, are happy and joyful.
Men on the other hand are often grumpy and joyless. Everything is bad and sex doesn’t give much pleasure. Testicles can be painful and swollen and men are not very happy. Except for some men who are naturally more talented sexually and can manage it all naturally and easily. That’s why women will have to support and encourage men more, so that they would be ready to go through the hardships of the beginning. As women are enjoying the beginning, men need to fight through it, to change their habitual reflexes with willpower. Often this is the reason men give up. “I can’t do it this way, I don’t like it this way, I don’t want, etc.”
For most women the opening of multi-orgasmic ability takes about 3 weeks, for most men – about 6 months. Some men may achieve it very easily and quickly but most will need to do much work on themselves. If a man has problems with premature ejaculation, it may take up to 9 months to learn to control his sexual energy and to not ejaculate.
Actually, it can be done but it requires willpower and effort and once men and women have mastered it, it will be of great benefit to both partners.